Lethal Cosmetics Dexter makeup bundle What’s in it: 11 colour eyeshadow palette, 4 lippy gloss, 3 nail polishes
FedEx dropped off what was supposed to be a wonderful thing. I was very excited and had high expectations. It cost a lot, so imagine my disappointment (and rage) when I went to try the stuff on.
First, the palette.
The palette box, made to look like Dexter’s blood slides box. It’s really super cute, and of good quality. Seriously, they put more effort into the box then the makeup…
The colours. I was so excited, but my excitement deflated fast. The powders are super loose, leave awful streaks, and I had to pass over each colour like 10 times, not even exaggerating.
The lippys. Again, so excited. The first two aren’t bad, but the last two are basically just clear gloss with a slight shimmer. I expected that from the yellow one, but not the rest.
The bottles were tagged as evidence. Again, very cute. But that’s all this set is. A gimmick to sell bad product.
The nail polish. The polish is the only good thing this bundle had going for it. Red’s a little streaky, but to be fair, I swatched on a paper cause I already have polish on.
The swatches
Top to bottom: Nurse Mary, Marty, Tooth Fairy These aren’t that bad, the colours are actually pretty, but again, 10 coats.
Top to bottom: Doakes, Rita, Trinity I tried to get them darker, I really did.
Top to bottom: ITK, Lila, Miguel I can’t even with these shades. Can you tell the middle one is purple? I sure can’t! And the bottom one is a dark green. Could have fooled me..
Top to bottom: Debra, Doomsday That black is so awful that it would be funny if I hadn’t spent almost 200$ on this stupid set.
Top and bottom, left to right: Dark Passenger, Born in Blood, Aconite, M99 I mean, it’s lipstick gloss. Top left is pretty, if a little blotchy, but the others are just meh. The consistency is also kinda gross on the lips.
Top to bottom, left one coat, right two coats: Slice of Life, Modus Operandi, The Code Polish is fine. Beautiful colours.
These, by the way, are the swatches they have on their site. All lies.
I really can’t express just how disappointed in this set I am. I was literally bouncing around in my seat like a kid while I was browsing the website. I can’t believe that they really thought that these products were good enough to be sold at all, never mind at that price point.
Seriously, don’t buy from Lethal Cosmetics. They should really be ashamed.
Color Out of Space (2019) Nicolas Cage, Madeleine Arthur, Joely Richardson, Brendan Meyer, Julian Hilliard, Elliot Knight, Tommy Chong, Josh C Waller Directed by: Richard Stanley
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see this one, which I guess is why it took so long for me to decide to watch. But I’m very glad I did.
The Gardner family lives on a remote farm. One night a meteor falls from the sky in a flash of light. The consequences of this might just be apocalyptic.
I’m generally not a fan of Nic Cage going nuts. I read the story this movie was based on, and didn’t think it would benefit from a Cage-ian meltdown (or 5). But I’m glad I finally watched it, it was quite good. Cage actually delivers what, for him, is a very subdued performance… for the first half anyways. He gets progressively more unhinged as the movie goes on, but in context, it really works. He’s supposed to be slowly losing his mind, and no one does that better than Cage.
The film looks beautiful. They decided on a stunning shade of pink for the actual colour, and it’s not a colour generally found in nature, so it gave everything a surreal, dreamlike quality when it was flying around. I have to give the movie major props for not trying to explain the colour, either. Lovecraft’s work is mostly about the unknown and unknowable, and this movie beautifully captured this. The colour simply was, no explanation needed. Actually, this movie has to be the most Lovecraftian Lovecraft adaptation I’ve ever seen, and that’s impressive.
Everything in the film is quite well done. The pacing, while a little slow at first, really finds its footing in the second half. The acting is all pretty good, the characters believable. The makeup and gore effects were pretty amazing, too. I won’t go too much into it, just in case anyone else hasn’t seen it yet and my review helps them wants to, but suffice to say the practical effects are on full glorious display and I was totally there for it.
So, do I recommend it? If you’re a fan of Lovecraft, yes, absolutely. If you need explications for things, you may not like it. Me? I give it a very good 8/10.
M.
This movie isn’t streaming anywhere (in Canada) right now, but it’s available for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime and YouTube.
ps: it was really hard for me to write the title as “Color”…
Annabelle Comes Home (2019) Mckenna Grace, Madison Iseman, Katie Sarife, Michael Cimino, Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson Directed by: Gary Dauberman
I was so excited when the first Annabelle movie came out because I’m such a big fan of the Conjuring franchise. And then I saw it and all the wind came out of my sails cause it sucked. Bad. So when this one came out, I had no intentions of watching yet another crappy spin-off. But I’m glad I finally did. It’s a good time.
Ed and Lorraine Warren bring the evil Annabelle doll to their house to contain the evil inside a glass case. But when the Warrens leave for the weekend and leave their young daughter Judy with a babysitter, the evil is accidentally unleashed to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting teens.
I had zero expectations going into this film. And while it doesn’t recreate the wheel or anything, it’s still fun. All the acting was good, which is always a bonus in horror movies. The plot, while slightly predictable and formulaic, was still good. It takes a while setting up the characters, so you actually care about them when shit starts to go south. There’s some decent atmosphere going on and, while not really scary, it’s still fun in its intensity. And they got me once with a very loud jump-scare. Usually I can tell they’re coming from a mile away, but this one got me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Well played, Annabelle Comes Home, well played. I will dock them a point for reusing a scare from The Conjuring 2, though. It would have been effective had we not seen it before.
Everything else was on par with what I’ve come to expect from a Conjuring movie. The makeup was really well done, it had some creepy set pieces, and it was nicely shot. And Joseph Bishara played the hell out of his strings, as per usual.
So, do I recommend it? Sure, with the caveat that you have to be a fan of the franchise. I’m not sure how much enjoyment one would get out of it if they weren’t already familiar with the characters and the world since the film doesn’t take much time to explain it. As for me, I give it a good 7/10. I had fun with it. Grab your popcorn and enjoy!
M.
This movie is not currently streaming anywhere (in Canada), but you can purchase or rent it from Amazon Prime or YouTube.
I didn’t remember just how many amazing movies were made in the 90’s. I must have made a list of 50 films I loved and then had to pair it down to 30. I was not happy. And then just as I thought I was finished the list, a movie that I forgot came to mind and I had to shift everything. But I finally decided upon 30, so here they are, my 30 favourite films of the 90’s.
Number 30
Title:Scream Year: 1996 Plot: In the small town of Woodsboro, California, a masked killer begins murdering high school students, and a group of friends must use their knowledge of horror movies to unmask the killer. Starring: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich, Rose McGowan, Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy, Drew Barrymore, Roger Jackson (v.o.) Directed by: Wes Craven Based on: An original screenplay written by Kevin Williamson, although he was heavily inspired by the true story of the “Gainesville Ripper”, Danny Rolling, who murdered several college students in 1990. Notes: So, I know, why is Scream all the way at number 30? Because I sometimes have weird tastes and there’s just 29 movies I love more, that’s why! But yes, of course, this movie is a modern classic. I’m generally not a fan of slashers, but this one is great.
Number 29
Title:The Iron Giant Year: 1999 Plot: A young boy befriends a giant robot from outer space that a paranoid government agent wants to destroy. Starring: Eli Marienthal, Harry Connick Jr, Jennifer Aniston, Vin Diesel, Christopher McDonald, John Mahoney, M Emmet Walsh, Cloris Leachman Directed by: Brad Bird Based on: The book The Iron Man by Ted Hughes. Notes: This has to be one of my favourite animations ever. It’s both hilarious and heartwarming. Keep some kleenex close, you’re gonna need it!
Number 28
Title:Practical Magic Year: 1998 Plot: Two witch sisters, raised by their eccentric aunts in a small town, face closed-minded prejudice and a curse which threatens to prevent them ever finding lasting love. Starring: Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Stockard Channing, Dianne Wiest, Aidan Quinn, Goran Visnjic, Evan Rachel Wood, Alexandra Artrip Directed by: Griffin Dunne Based on: The book Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman. Notes: The perfect blend of chick flick and supernatural. And how disgustingly beautiful were Sandra and Nicole?? My goodness..
Number 27
Title:The Matrix Year: 1999 Plot: When a beautiful stranger leads computer hacker Neo to a forbidding underworld, he discovers the shocking truth: the life he knows is the elaborate deception of an evil cyber-intelligence. Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Joe Pantoliano, Marcus Chong, Gloria Foster, Matt Doran, Julian Arahanga, Anthony Ray Parker Directed by: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski Based on: An original script written by the Wachowski’s, but they admitted to being heavily inspired by the philosophical book Simulacra and Simulation by Jean Baudrillard. Notes: This movie is, in a word, iconic. Never mind the slew of sequels that got progressively worse, this movie was so good. Great ideas paired with top-notch action scenes; it was a must-see of the 90s.
Number 26
Title:The Craft Year: 1996 Plot: After transferring to a Los Angeles high school, Sarah finds that her telekinetic gift appeals to a group of three wannabe witches, who happen to be seeking a fourth member for their rituals. Starring: Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, Rachel True, Skeet Ulrich, Breckin Meyer, Christine Taylor, Assumpta Serna Directed by: Andrew Fleming Based on: An original screenplay written by Peter Filardi and Andrew Fleming. Notes: The other movie that came out in ’96 starring Neve Campbell and Skeet Ulrich, I personally prefer this one. Maybe it’s because I identified more with the outcast goth girls? Probably. But this is just a fun witchcraft movie that I can still enjoy even though I’m no longer a teen.
Number 25
Title:Dragonheart Year: 1996 Plot: The last living dragon and a disillusioned dragon-slaying knight must unite to stop an evil king, who was granted partial immortality. Starring: Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery (v.o.), Dina Meyer, David Thewlis, Pete Postlethwaite, Jason Isaacs, Brian Thompson Directed by: Rob Cohen Based on: An original screenplay written by Charles Edward Pogue and Patrick Read Johnson. Notes: I haven’t watched this since the early 2000s I’d wager, so I can’t be sure if the cgi holds up. But I remember it being pretty great.
Number 24
Title: The Prophecy Year: 1995 Plot: Archangel Gabriel is searching for the soul of a supremely evil human to win a war that’s raging between angels and bring hell on earth. Starring: Christopher Walken, Elias Koteas, Virginia Madsen, Eric Stoltz, Viggo Mortensen, Amanda Plummer, Adam Goldberg, Moriah Shining Dove Snyder Directed by: Gregory Widen Based on: An original screenplay written by Gregory Widen. Notes: Viggo as Lucifer is one of the most unsettling, even downright scary, things you’ll ever see. Holy crap.
Number 23
Title:To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar Year: 1995 Plot: Three drag queens travel cross-country until their car breaks down, leaving them stranded in a small town where they turn the resident’s lives upside down. Starring: Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo, Stockard Channing, Jason London, Jennifer Milmore, Blythe Danner, Beth Grant, Alice Drummond, Chris Penn, Arliss Howard Directed by: Beeban Kidron Based on: An original screenplay written by Douglas Carter Beane. Notes: I absolutely love this film and can watch it over and over. It’s so funny and heartwarming at the same time. And how beautiful is John Leguizamo as Chi Chi? My goodness..
Number 22
Title:The Mummy Year: 1999 Plot: At an archaeological dig in the ancient city of Hamunaptra, an American serving in the French Foreign Legion accidentally awakens a mummy who begins to wreak havoc as he searches for the reincarnation of his long-lost love. Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Kevin J O’Connor, Oded Fehr, Erick Avari, Jonathan Hyde, Patricia Velasquez, Omid Djalili Directed by: Stephen Sommers Based on: An original screenplay written by Stephen Sommers, although it is a re-imagining of the 1932 Universal film of the same name. Notes: Is this movie really only number 22? Wow, there were great movies in this decade! This film is so fun and of course I eat up anything even remotely about ancient Egypt. And 90’s Brendan Fraser? Yes please!
Number 21
Title: Ever After Year: 1998 Plot: Danielle de Barbarac is a spirited young woman forced into servitude by her wicked stepmother after her father’s death, who falls in love with Prince Henry after a chance meeting. Starring: Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott, Melanie Lynskey, Megan Dodds, Patrick Godfrey, Lee Ingleby, Kate Lansbury, Walter Sparrow, Matyelok Gibbs, Judy Parfitt, Timothy West, Jeroen Krabbé Directed by: Andy Tennant Based on: An original screenplay written by Susannah Grant, Andy Tennant, and Rick Parks, inspired by the 1697 Cinderella fairy tale written by Charles Perrault. Notes: One of my very favourite chick flicks. Such a beautiful story and stupidly romantic, Danielle is actually a good role model for women and girls to follow.
Number 20
Title:House on Haunted Hill Year: 1999 Plot: An amusement park mogul offers a group of diverse people $1,000,000 to spend the night in a haunted house with a horrifying past. Starring: Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Ali Larter, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallagher, Chris Kattan, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Max Perlich, Jeffrey Combs Directed by: William Malone Based on: An original screenplay written by Robb White and Dick Beebe. It is a loose remake of the 1959 movie of the same name starring Vincent Price. Notes: Now, I love Vincent Price, but gods was the original boring! And I have trouble with plastic skeletons on wires, I’ll be honest. This remake is slick and scary, perfectly updated for modern audiences.
Number 19
Title:Stargate Year: 1994 Plot: An Egyptologist and a retired US Army Colonel unlock an ancient ring-shaped device discovered in Giza. They travel through a wormhole to the desert planet Abydos, where they discover a human civilization enslaved by the alien Ra, who poses as a god, and work to overthrow him to return home. Starring: James Spader, Kurt Russell, Jaye Davidson, Alexis Cruz, Mili Avital, Erick Avari, Viveca Lindfors, Leon Rippy, John Diehl, Djimon Hounsou, Gianin Loffler Directed by: Roland Emmerich Based on: An original screenplay written by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, inspired in part by ancient astronaut theory, notably Chariots of the Gods by Erich Von Däniken. Notes: Marrying ancient Egyptian-like culture and space travel? Sign me up! It also doesn’t hurt that James Spader was an absolute fox.
Number 18
Title:Empire Records Year: 1995 Plot: A tight-knit group of record store employees are fighting to save their independent shop from becoming a corporate chain store in a single, chaotic day. Starring: Anthony LaPaglia, Rory Cochrane, Liv Tyler, Johnny Whitworth, Renée Zellweger, Robin Tunney, Ethan Embry, Debi Mazar, Maxwell Caulfield, Brendan Sexton III, Coyote Shivers, James ‘Kimo’ Wills Directed by: Allan Moyle Based on: An original screenplay written by Carol Heikkinen, based on her personal experiences working at a Tower Records in Phoenix, Arizona. Notes: I can’t even explain how much I love this film. I saw it when it first came out (I was 14), and I fell instantly in love with it, and have been ever since. Thankfully, it still holds up well today, and I give it a watch every once in a while, and it never fails to make me smile.
Number 17
Title:Seven Year: 1995 Plot: Two detectives try to track down a serial killer who chooses his victims based on the seven deadly sins. Starring: Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, R Lee Ermey, Richard Roundtree, Reg E Cathey, Peter Crombie, John Cassini, Kevin Spacey Directed by: David Fincher Based on: An original screenplay written by Andrew Kevin Walker. Notes: Such a brilliant piece of film. Well written, well acted, with a gut-punch of an ending that will stick with you long after the movie is done.
Number 16
Title:The Silence of the Lambs Year: 1991 Plot: A young FBI rookie is sent to ask the help of brilliant cannibalistic killer Dr Hannibal Lecter in catching another killer who kidnaps his victims, holds them for many days, then skins them to make a ‘woman suit’. Starring: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Anthony Heald, Frankie Faison, Brooke Smith, Lawrence T Wrentz, Diane Baker Directed by: Jonathan Demme Based on: The book The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris. Notes: This is, quite possibly, my favourite serial killer movie of all time. No surprises there, it’s such a classic. Did you know, despite having top billing, Anthony Hopkins only has about 18 minutes of screen time?
Number 15
Title:Stigmata Year: 1999 Plot: When a young woman becomes afflicted by stigmata, a priest is sent to investigate her case, which may have severe ramifications for his faith and for the Catholic church itself. Starring: Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Thomas Kopache, Enrico Colantoni, Rade Serbedzija, Dick Latessa Directed by: Rupert Wainwright Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Lazarus and Rick Ramage. Notes: My lifelong crush on Gabriel Byrne aside, this is just an awesome movie. I must have seen it over 20 times, maybe even more! I love religious horror when it’s done right.
Number 14
Title:It Year: 1990 Plot: In 1960, seven pre-teen outcasts fight an evil demon who poses as a child-killing clown. Thirty years later, they reunite to stop the demon once and for all when it returns to their hometown. Starring: Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, Jonathan Brandis, Annette O’Toole, Emily Perkins, Harry Anderson, Seth Green, Dennis Christopher, John Ritter Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace Based on: The book It by Stephen King Notes: I watched this when it came out, which meant I was 9 years old. Pennywise traumatized the crap out of me, and I’ve hated clowns ever since. But despite all this, I loved it and still do. Part two is not nearly as good as part one, which is why it’s not higher on the list.
Number 13
Title:Hackers Year: 1995 Plot: Teenage hackers discover a criminal conspiracy with plans to use a computer virus that will capsize five oil tankers unless a ransom is paid. Starring: Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, Jesse Bradford, Matthew Lillard, Renoly Santiago, Fisher Stevens, Laurence Mason, Lorraine Bracco, Marc Anthony, Wendell Pierce, Alberta Watson Directed by: Iain Softley Based on: An original screenplay written by Rafael Moreu. Notes: It was one of the first films to really get me interested in computers. And even though I was very disappointed to find out real hacking is nothing like what is shown in this film, I’ve always had my own computer since then. So much fun, so much eye candy, and to top it all off, a totally bitchin’ soundtrack.
Number 12
Title:The Crow Year: 1994 Plot: The night before his wedding, musician Eric Draven and his fiancée are brutally murdered by members of a violent gang. On the anniversary of their death, Eric rises from the grave and assumes the mantle of the Crow, a supernatural avenger. Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson, Bai Ling, Anna Thomson, David Patrick Kelly, Angel David, Laurence Mason, Michael Massee, Jon Polito, Tony Todd Directed by: Alex Proyas Based on: The graphic novel The Crow by James O’Barr Notes: I’m generally not a huge fan of action movies, but this was a huge exception. With its gothic esthetic and supernatural elements, this became one of my all-time favourite movies.
Number 11
Title:Event Horizon Year: 1997 Plot: A rescue crew is tasked with investigating the mysterious reappearance of a spaceship that had been lost for seven years. It did not come back alone. Starring: Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Joely Richardson, Kathleen Quinlan, Jason Isaacs, Jack Noseworthy, Richard T Jones, Sean Pertwee Directed by: Paul WS Anderson Based on: An original screenplay written by Philip Eisner. Notes: This film scared the snot out of me when I first saw it when it came out (I was 16), and still manages to give me goosebumps today. A sign of a job well done!
Number 10
Title:The Exorcist III Year: 1990 Plot: As a police lieutenant mourns on the anniversary of his friend’s death (Father Karras, from the first film), a serial killer strikes whose MO is eerily similar to a killer’s who’s been dead for 15 years. Starring: George C Scott, Ed Flanders, Brad Dourif, Jason Miller, Nicol Williamson, Scott Wilson, Nancy Fish, and George DiCenzo Directed by: William Peter Blatty Based on: The book Legion by William Peter Blatty. Notes: This is the only sequel that The Exorcist should of had, instead of the abomination that was made (seriously, what the hell was that??) It’s a great story, and has real scares, with none of the camp that 90’s horror was so famous for. A real, under-rated gem. It also has the best jumpscare ever.
Number 9
Title:The Stand Year: 1994 Plot: After a man-made super flu kills 99% of the people on earth, the survivors band together into two groups, one drawn by dreams of a kind old lady, the others by an evil dark man. Starring: Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Adam Storke, Laura San Giacomo, Ruby Dee, Rob Lowe, Corin Nemec, Matt Frewer, Miguel Ferrer, Ray Walston Directed by: Mick Garris Based on: The book The Stand by Stephen King. Notes: I saw this at 13 when it first aired on tv, and I hadn’t read the book yet, which was probably a good thing, since it allowed me to love the mini-series, and not continuously compare it to the book. When I read the book a few years later, I was amazed at how much extra stuff was in it, but my love of the show was already cemented. It’s hopelessly dated, but it’s still a fun watch.
Number 8
Title:Interview with the Vampire Year: 1994 Plot: A man who has lost his wife and baby in childbirth is offered immortality by a charming but ruthless vampire. We follow him through his centuries of life as he tells his story to a young writer. Starring: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas, Christian Slater, Stephen Rea, Domiziana Giordano, Indra Ové, Thandie Newton Directed by: Neil Jordan Based on: The book Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice. Notes: So beautiful and sumptuous. Incredibly acted and written, it follows the book quite closely (which is to be expected when the author writes the screenplay). A lot of the actors don’t look like their book counterparts, but the movie is so well done that I was able to forgive this.
Number 7
Title:Only You Year: 1994 Plot: As a teen, Faith was told that her destiny is with a man named Damon Bradley. Years later, when she’s about to marry someone else, a Damon Bradley calls to wish them well, and Faith blows off her wedding to follow Damon to Italy. Starring: Marisa Tomei, Robert Downey Jr, Bonnie Hunt, Joaquim de Almeida, Fisher Stevens, Billy Zane, Adam LeFevre, Siobhan Fallon Hogan Directed by: Norman Jewison Based on: An original screenplay written by Malia Scotch Marmo. Notes: Films don’t get much more schmoopy than this, folks. This is the very definition of romantic. My heart flutters a little every time I see it.
Number 6
Title:Clueless Year: 1995 Plot: Popular, rich girls Cher and Dionne decide to take a new, frumpy student under their wing and give her a makeover, while their love lives run amok. Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison, Elisa Donovan, Breckin Meyer, Jeremy Sisto, Justin Walker, Julie Brown, Twink Caplan, Wallace Shawn, Dan Hedaya Directed by: Amy Heckerling Based on: The book Emma by Jane Austen (loosely based). Notes: My favourite teen movie of all time. It’s over the top and ridiculous in so many ways, but the actors are all perfect in their roles, and the film comes off as completely sweet and charming instead of grating and self-indulgent, as rich teens probably actually are.
Number 5
Title:Jurassic Park Year: 1993 Plot: An industrialist invites some experts to visit his theme park of cloned dinosaurs. After a power failure, the creatures run loose, putting everyone’s lives, including his grandchildren’s, in danger. Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Ariana Richards, Joseph Mazzello, Bob Peck, Martin Ferrero, Samuel L Jackson, Wayne Knight, BD Wong Directed by: Steven Spielberg Based on: The book Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton. Notes: The first, the original, and still the best. The effects more than hold up today.
Number 4
Title:Sleepy Hollow Year: 1999 Plot: A slightly eccentric Constable is sent to the small town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate killings that the locals are sure were committed by a ghostly headless horseman. Starring: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Jeffrey Jones, Casper van Dien, Richard Griffiths, Michael Gough, Marc Pickering, Lisa Marie, Ian McDiarmid, Christopher Walken Directed by: Tim Burton Based on: The book The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving. Notes: This is Burton and Depp at their very best, when the creative mojo was still mojoing, and they were still making terrific pictures together. The scenery is dark and brooding, the characters are all captivating, and Johnny Depp is, of course, absolutely gorgeous. Simply wonderful.
Number 3
Title:The Shawshank Redemption Year: 1994 Plot: A wrongfully convicted banker forms a close friendship with a hardened convict over a quarter century while retaining his humanity through simple acts of compassion. Starring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston Directed by: Frank Darabont Based on: The novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King. Notes: With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. A wonderful story about the resilience of the human spirit.
Number 2
Title:The Sixth Sense Year: 1999 Plot: After being shot by a resentful former patient whom he failed to help, a Philadelphia child psychologist seeks redemption by treating a young boy with a disturbing secret. Starring: Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette, Olivia Williams, Trevor Morgan, Mischa Barton, Donnie Wahlberg Directed by: M Night Shyamalan Based on: An original screenplay written by M Night Shyamalan Notes: I do love me a good old haunting. I remember when I saw this for the first time, I went to see it at the cinema with my cousin. We were both so blown away by that ending, we went back to see it again right after, just to see if we could spot any mistakes that would have the twist make no sense. We couldn’t. And thankfully, unlike a lot of films with such twists, this film is so good that even knowing what’s going to happen doesn’t take any enjoyment away from the film.
Number 1
Title:Bram Stoker’s Dracula Year: 1992 Plot: After seeing a photograph of a woman who resembles his long-dead wife, a centuries old vampire travels to England to find her. Starring: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Sadie Frost, Cary Elwes, Richard E Grant, Tom Waits, Monica Bellucci Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola Based on: The novel Dracula by Bram Stoker. Notes: I won’t deny the effect that the classics have had on modern film. Without the original Universal monsters, we might not have near as many great movies as we do. But it stands that I have trouble with old timey films. So I much prefer this one to the original. So lush, so beautiful, romantic, sometimes creepy. Simply put, perfect. Besides Keanu’s accent, of course! haha
And here are a few of the films that almost made the list, but not quite:
The Truth About Cats & Dogs While You Were Sleeping Stir of Echoes Cruel Intentions The Relic From Dusk Till Dawn The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert 10 Things I Hate About You Twister The Good Son The Lion King Get Real The Witches Army of Darkness Romeo + Juliet Little Women Fried Green Tomatoes Benny & Joon The Cutting Edge Dazed and Confused Dark City Total Recall Can’t Hardly Wait Cry-Baby Merlin The Frighteners The Pit and the Pendulum Subspecies Darkman
And there it was, my top 30 films of the 90’s! What are some of your favourites? Let me know!
The Woman in the Yard (2025) Danielle Deadwyler, Peyton Jackson, Estella Kahiha, Okwui Okpokwasili, Russell Hornsby Directed by: Jaume Collet-Serra
I’m always weary about Blumhouse pictures. They can be really good, but they can also be total shite. This one seems to fall somewhere in the middle.
When a mysterious woman giving cryptic warnings appears in the yard of a recently widowed mother of 2 children, she must fight the ever-increasing threat the woman poses.
Grief as horror is a slightly tired trope by now, but there’s no denying that if it’s done right, it can pack a punch. This one doesn’t quite get there. The acting was mostly ok except for a few scenes with the youngest daughter doing her impression of a block of wood. But a good quarter, maybe more, of the film is literally just the mother telling her son not to do something and him ignoring her. It got real old, real fast. The Woman does cut an imposing figure, but this is a PG-13 film, so there’s not much horror to be had. It’s mostly a psychological drama with some supernatural elements.
SPOILERS INCOMING (and trigger warning: suicide)
I had guessed at the beginning of the film that the mother was the woman, at least part of the time. Having her be an extension of the mother’s grief could have been a good idea in the hands of a better filmmaker. And I wasn’t a fan of the end. Now I’ve seen other people say that because the painting was so big and the backwards writing was so small that she didn’t kill herself, but the grief is still there, just under control. But most people, myself included, think that she did pull that trigger and this is either heaven or her mind just before she dies. Which is HORRIBLE. As someone who’s had severe depression and suicidal thoughts, this movie is borderline irresponsible in saying that her happy ending was at the end of a gun. The suicide prevention blurb at the end of the film was not enough to undo that.
So do I recommend it? Meh, not really, unless you’re a Blumhouse completionist. It gets a very mid 5/10 from me.
The Vigil (2019) Dave Davis, Menashe Lustig, Lynn Cohen, Malky Goldman, Ronald Cohen, Fred Melamed (v.o.) Directed by: Keith Thomas
This movie had been in my Shudder watchlist for literal years. I just never watched it. I finally did and it wasn’t really anything special.
A man providing overnight watch to a deceased member of his former Orthodox Jewish community finds himself opposite a malevolent entity.
So first, I know absolutely nothing about Jewish culture. I got the basic drift of what was happening though. The film is half in Hebrew, so there’s some subtitles to read. The biggest problem I had with the film is that everything was always so slow. The man’s reaction times to things that are happening seems to be stretched out. Static shots on something that might move (i.e. is that body going to move?) were really really long. It felt almost like the filmmakers were trying to pad the runtime of the film. It clocks in at 89 minutes, so maybe they felt that by doing this, they’d have a decent runtime. But it just made most of the movie unbearably boring most of the time.
The acting was fine, nothing special, but fine. The makeup, however, was pretty bad. The demon hands you see near the end of the film were laughable. I don’t know if they meant to have it look so DIY, but it really does look like something I could make in my basement. It was competently shot, except of course the aforementioned long shots. I will give it credit for an interesting idea, though. A demon that feeds on pain could make a great movie. Just not this one.
So do I recommend it? Not really. There’s nothing here that I’d really say needs to be seen. Best to skip this one. It gets a 4/10 from me.
M.
This film is currently streaming on Shudder and Amazon Prime.
I’m finally finished the second half of this list. I was wondering if I was going to ever get the motivation to finish it at all, but here it is, part 2 of my 15 favourite episodes of Ancient Aliens.
Number 7
Title:Aliens and the Lost Ark Season: 6, episode 10 Who they talk to: Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Graham Hancock, Rev Barry H Downing PhD, Rabbi Ed Feinstein, Rev Michael JS Carter, Rabbi Ariel Bar Tzadok, William Henry, David Wilcock, Michael Dennin PhD, David Childress, Jason Martell, Kathleen McGowan, Alexander Bay PhD, Mike Bara What they discuss: Archeological discovery that may prove that the Ark of the Covenant was real. The story in the book of Exodus where Moses went to the top of Mount Sinai and received the 10 commandments, and these tablets were stored in the Ark, which they were told how to build. It would also hold the power of God himself. Who did Moses really encounter? Was it an extraterrestrial being? The Ark was not to be touched, upon pain of death. It was always covered so people couldn’t look at it. Was the Ark some kind of alien technology? It was said to protect and provide for the Israelites while they were in the desert by sending the Manna. Did the Ark hold a machine that made this Manna? The story of the Ark stopping the waters of the Jordan river so that they could go into the Promised Land? The destruction of Jericho. The Philistines capture the Ark, and then they start to get sick and die. They send it back. Did the Ark contain some kind of nuclear driven device? The attire the priests had to wear to approach the Ark to protect themselves from the power coming from it. A physicist explains how the golden Ark could be an energy capacitor. It disappears from history in about 400 BC. The theory that the Ark ended up in Japan, in the caves of mount Tsurugi. The theory that the Ark was hidden by the Knights Templar. The monks in Aksum in the cathedral of St Mary of Zion claim that they have the Ark. Is the Ark hidden under the Temple Mount in Jerusalem? A bright light was seen over the Dome of the Rock on Temple Mount. Was it charging the Ark? It is said that the Ark will return with the coming of the Messiah. Notes: I’m fascinated by anything about the Ark of the Covenant. Not sure why, but I am. I don’t believe it was real, but I love the mythology around it. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 6
Title:Closer Encounters Season: 1, episode 4 Who they talk to: Robert Schoch PhD, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Nancy Red Star, David Childress, Erich von Däniken, LA Marzulli, Jonathan Young PhD, Bill Birnes PhD, C Scott Littleton PhD, Betty Ann Brown PhD, Maximillien de LaFayette, George Noory, William Bramley, Chris Pittman, Alex Chionetti, Michael J Crowe PhD, Clifford Mahooty, Philip Coppens, Peter Fiebag, Graham Hancock, Linda Moulton Howe What they discuss: The first test of an atomic bomb in New Mexico. Were there similar weapons in ancient times? The Mahabharata has stories of weapons that are eerily similar to today’s weapons. The ruins of Mohenjo-Daro. Did an atomic bomb go off there? As evidence, there’s vitrification. What about Sodom and Gomorrah? Lot’s wife died from looking at the blast. Noah’s birth and real lineage. Was Noah’s Ark some kind of DNA bank? Paintings from the middle ages that look to be depicting UFOs in the background. Was the Black Death created by extraterrestrials to cull humans? The logs of Christopher Columbus. Did it depict a UFO? The people of Nuremburg who saw an aerial battle in the 16th century and memorialized it in a broadsheet. Cotton Mather’s record of a UFO over the moon. Reports of lights in the sky in the 18th century Europe and Asia. Sightings in early United States history. The ruins at Chaco Canyon show advanced knowledge of astronomy. Strange lights coming from Oak Island in the 19th century. Is the Ark of the Covenant buried there? Is it an extraterrestrial device? Notes: A grab bag of subjects that have to do with sightings and technologies, I found this episode fascinating. I love learning new things, and there was a bunch of stuff in this episode I didn’t know. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 5
Title:The New Evidence Season: 11, episode 4 Who they talk to: Erich von Däniken, David Childress, David Wilcock, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Andrew Collins, David Cheetham PhD, Sabina Magliocco PhD, David Whitehead, William Henry, Robert Bauval, Ramy Romany, Andrew Collins, George Noory, Dominic Steavu PhD, Ed Barnhart PhD, Jason Martell, Brien Foerster What they discuss: A re-introduction of ancient astronaut theory. New technology that helps us understand the cosmos and ancient ruins. The “new Stonehenge” the found at Durrington Walls using ground penetrating radar. 15 other underground sites were also found in the area. Are they remnants of an extraterrestrial space port? The possibility of two additional shafts hidden in the tomb of Tutankhamun. Is one of these chambers the tomb of Nefertiti? And is it hidden because she was not of this world? The archeological dig at the pyramid of Quetzalcoatl in Teotihuacan. Liquid mercury was found. Did it belong to the extraterrestrials that visited them? The tomb of Emperor Chin and his terracotta army also has large quantities of liquid mercury. Was Machu Picchu built with the help of aliens? There may be a large cavity hidden underneath it. 24 new, older images were found at Nazca that can only be seen with a 3D scan. This proves more than one culture were making these glyphs. Similar glyphs were found in Kazakhstan. Were they used to signal the “gods”? Notes: It’s always interesting to learn all the new stuff that can be found with new technologies. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 4
Title:Dark Forces Season: 10, episode 4 Who they talk to: Rev Lionel Fanthorpe, Jonathan Young PhD, Robert Cargill PhD, William Bramley, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Richard Rader PhD, David Wilcock, David Childress, Sabina Magliocco PhD, Kathleen McGowan Coppens, Stephen O’Shea, Erich von Däniken, William Henry, Dan Healey PhD, Rabbi Ariel Bar Tzadok, Mike FitzGerald, George Noory What they discuss: Serial killers who said they worship Satan. Stories of evil forces that overtake humans are prevalent in every culture in the world. Were some of these dark forces extraterrestrials? Ancient Greek author Hesiod and the 9 muses. His story of Pandora’s Box. The Djinn, who could be a force for good or evil. The Cathars and how they believed demons would lead you astray from god with material things. The Sumerian epic The Atrahasis. The birth and death of Grigory Rasputin. The stories of a pact with the devil. The Nazi SS and the occult leanings of Heinrich Himmler. Alistair Crowley and his dark rituals. Do other beings feed on our negative energy? Notes: Stories of evil forces and deals with the devil? Sign me up! Giorgio’s hair:
Number 3
Title:Prophets and Prophecies Season: 5, episode 7 Who they talk to: Jonathan Young PhD, Philip Coppens, Richard Rader PhD, Fr William J Fulco PhD, David Childress, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Rev Barry H Downing PhD, Patrick Cooke, Nick Redfern, Erich von Däniken, Jason Martell, Judy Chungwa Ho PhD, Robert Schoch PhD, Jay Weidner, Marie D Jones, Michael Dennin PhD, Doc Barham What they discuss: Cultures from around the world have stories of people who can communicate with other forces. Were these other forces extraterrestrials? The divine encounters of Moses. The encounters of the prophet Elijah. Was the fiery chariot that took him to heaven an alien craft? Joseph Smith Jr and the creation of The Book of Mormon. The birth and life of Buddha. Depictions of the Persian god Ahuru Mazda show him in a winged disc. Was his prophet Zarathustra actually communicating with an extraterrestrial? The Oracle of Delphi and her connection to the god Apollo. Michel de Nostredame and his book Les Propheties. The zero-point field, or Akashic Record, where all knowledge, past present and future, is held. Albert Einstein’s Theory of Special Relativity. Notes: More supernatural stuff and I’m here for it. It’s just so interesting. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 2
Title:Aliens and the Creation of Man Season: 3, episode 16 Who they talk to: Dr Ian Tattersall, Craig Stanford PhD, Fiorella Terenzi PhD, Nick Redfern, David Childress, Philip Imbrogno, George Noory, Linda Moulton Howe, Philip Coppens, Erich von Däniken, Bill Birnes PhD, Dr Lyle Armstrong, Jonathan Young PhD, Peter Fiebag, Jason Martell What they discuss: Early hominids. Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. Some ancient astronaut theorists believe that Darwin wasn’t completely right and homo sapiens became smarter due to extraterrestrial intervention. Was all the species of hominids trial and error of genetic mutations by extraterrestrials? Were Adam and Eve the first genetically modified humans? The Sumerian creation story, where humans were created by beings called the Anunnaki. Stories from many cultures say that language was a gift from the gods. Petroglyphs from around the world depicting beings that came down from the heavens. The theory of panspermia. Notes: This is as close as this show gets to my own beliefs. Panspermia seems very likely to me. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 1
Title:Aliens and the Undead Season: 3, episode 14 Who they talk to: Aidan Dodson PhD, Robert Bauval, Andrew Collins, David Childress, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Brien Foerster, George Noory, Sallie Ann Glassman, Jerry Gandolfo, Tok Thompson PhD, Max Brooks, Bob Curran PhD, Jonathan Young PhD, Erich von Däniken, Pastor Brett Peterson, David Skal, Andrew Wyatt PhD, Richard Rader, Michael Coogan PhD, Jessica Haynes, Dr Jeff Long MD, Doc Barham What they discuss: Mummification and the ancient Egyptian’s afterlife myths. Many cultures believed that they would go to the stars after they died. Was this because of something they witnessed from extraterrestrials? The elongated skulls in Egypt and Peru. Were they inspired by alien visitors, or were they themselves aliens? The origins of the zombie. Almost every ancient culture in the world has some kind of myth of the dead coming back to life. The Haitian practice of voodoo. The story of Jesus and Lazarus. The importance of blood rituals to the Mayans. Many cultures have vampires, or vampire-like creatures, in their mythology. End of the world mythology, and the return of the gods. Near-death experiences. Notes: Aliens and the Undead? Come on! Of course I love this one the most! Incidentally, it also happens to be the very first episode of the show I ever saw, and is what interested me in it in the first place. Giorgio’s hair:
And that’s it! Do you like the show? What’s your favourite episode? Let me know!!
The Mortuary Assistant (2026) Willa Holland, Paul Sparks, John Adams, Keena Ferguson Frasier, Mark Steger, Emily Bennett Directed by: Jeremiah Kipp
This movie just dropped on Shudder a few days ago. I had no idea what it was, and the blurb made it sound like a generic possession film, with the same basic premise as The Possession of Hannah Grace. But since I’m a sucker for possession films, I decided to give it a go. And oh boy…
Rebecca is a newly appointed mortician and gets a call from her boss that he needs her for a night shift. When she arrives, strange things begin to happen, and she finds herself in a life-or-death struggle with a demon.
I’d heard this was based on a video game before watching it. But since I’d had a good time with Until Dawn recently, I decided to give this one a go. What a mistake. This film is awful, bordering on embarrassing. The lead gave such a one-note performance, and the man who played her boss was literally made out of wood. It was a confused, jumbled mess, with scenes that had nothing to do with each kind of stitched together. I don’t need every little thing spelled out for me in a film, but a little would be nice. Even the exposition dump that we got didn’t explain anything. I imagine that if I’d played the game, I might have understood a bit of what was going on. But you shouldn’t have to have played the game to understand the film. The film should stand on its own. I will give credit where credit is due, however. The makeup and gore effects were top notch. Too bad they were in such a turd of a film.
So do I recommend it? No, absolutely not. What a waste of my time. 3/10
These were incredibly hard to rank, harder than any other decade, because this is the decade that I grew up in and started to mold my mind into what kind of media I’d like for the rest of my life. I saw most of these films before I was 10 years old (yes, I was probably too young for some of them), and they’re imprinted permanently into my brain. It was very hard to keep the list to 30 (not as hard as it was in the upcoming 90s list, but still). So here they are, my top 30 movies of the 80s!
Number 30
Title:Weird Science Year: 1985 Plot: Two high-school nerds use a computer program to literally create the perfect woman, who promptly turns their lives upside-down. Starring: Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Anthony Michael Hall, Kelly LeBrock, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Bill Paxton, Robert Downey Jr Directed by: John Hughes Based on: The comic book Weird Science #5: Made of the Future by Al Feldstein Notes: Yes, it’s got some problematic things in it, but this film is so much fun! A classic teen movie (made way before I was a teen) that just makes me laugh. Plus, it’s fun to see Bill Paxton (rip) and Robert Downey Jr in early roles.
Number 29
Title:The Secret of NIMH Year: 1982 Plot: To save her ill son, a field mouse must seek the aid of a colony of rats, with whom she has a deeper link than she suspected. Starring: Elizabeth Hartman, Derek Jacobi, Dom DeLuise, Peter Strauss, Arthur Malet, Hermione Baddeley, Shannen Doherty, Wil Wheaton, John Carradine, Paul Shenar Directed by: Don Bluth Based on: The book Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C O’Brien Notes: One of my absolute favourites growing up. I kept on wanting it higher on the list, but there are simply too many amazing movies from this decade! Also, I had no idea that Shannen Doherty (rip) and Wil Wheaton were the voices of two of the Brisby kids!
Number 28
Title:Ghostbusters Year: 1984 Plot: Armed with proton packs, four paranormal investigators battle mischievous ghouls in New York. Starring: Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, Rick Moranis, William Atherton, Slavitza Jovan Directed by: Ivan Reitman Based on: An original screenplay written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis Notes: What can I say about this film? It’s an absolute classic! It never fails to make me laugh.
Number 27
Title:Silver Bullet Year: 1985 Plot: In a small town, brutal killings start to plague the close-knit community. Marty Coslaw, a paraplegic boy, is convinced the murders are the doings of a werewolf. Starring: Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Leon Russom, Terry O’Quinn, Bill Smitrovich Directed by: Daniel Attias Based on: The novella Cycle of the Werewolf by Stephen King Notes: Corey Haim (rip) was one of the first actors that I remember really having a crush on when I was a kid after seeing him in The Lost Boys and Watchers. He’s much younger in this film, but still adorable. The film itself is fun, and the werewolf effects were pretty good for the time. I miss practical effects…
Number 26
Title:The Serpent and the Rainbow Year: 1988 Plot: An anthropologist goes to Haiti to research a drug that makes someone appear dead by suspending all vital signs. Starring: Bill Pullman, Cathy Tyson, Zakes Mokae, Paul Winfield, Michael Gough, Brent Jennings, Conrad Roberts, Badja Djola Directed by: Wes Craven Based on: The non-fiction book The Serpent and the Rainbow by Wade Davis Notes: The author famously hated the film, and it faced some serious backlash for its fictionalized portrayal of Haitian Vodou and the Haitians in general. But, and I may be wrong here, it’s a fictional movie. It never pretends to be a true story. I loved this film, I thought it was a very neat and different angle to the zombie story.
Number 25
Title:Warlock Year: 1989 Plot: A warlock flees from the 17th to the 20th century, with a witch-hunter in hot pursuit. Starring: Julian Sands, Richard E Grant, Lori Singer, Mary Woronov, Kevin O’Brien Directed by: Steve Miner Based on: An original screenplay written by David Twohy Notes: This film is so good. The film takes its subject matter seriously, even though the premise is kind of silly. Wonderfully campy and acted better than most movies in its genre, it’s definitely a gem of the 80’s. And Julian Sands (rip), my goodness. One of my very first crushes on a grownup. I can still picture tween me watching this with hearts in my eyes, hehe.
Number 24
Title:Pet Sematary Year: 1989 Plot: After tragedy strikes, a grieving father discovers an ancient burial ground behind his home with the power to raise the dead. Starring: Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Brad Greenquist, Miko Hughes, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl Directed by: Mary Lambert Based on: The book Pet Sematary by Stephen King Notes:Pet Sematary is one of my favourite Stephen King books, and this happens to be a great adaptation. Sure, they changed some things, but on the whole, they did an awesome job. It’s sure to give you goosebumps!
Number 23
Title:Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Year: 1989 Plot: In 1938, after his father goes missing while pursuing the Holy Grail, Indiana Jones finds himself up against the Nazis again to stop them from obtaining its powers. Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, Denholm Elliott, John Rhys-Davies, Julian Glover, River Phoenix Directed by: Steven Spielberg Based on: An original screenplay written by Jeffrey Boam Notes: The best of the three Indiana Jones films, this is the only one that I still rewatch from time to time. Fun and sometimes tense, this is a wonderful conclusion to the story. (Yes, I’m fully aware there’s more, I just don’t acknowledge them). The addition of Sean Connery (rip) as Indy’s dad is wonderful. They really seem like a father and son.
Number 22
Title:Rock & Rule Year: 1983 Plot: A malevolent rock star kidnaps a singer to force her to participate in the summoning of a demon, and her band must help her stop him. Starring: Don Francks, Susan Roman, Paul Le Mat, Dan Hennessey, Greg Duffell, Chris Wiggins, Brent Titcomb, Catherine Gallant, Catherine O’Hara Directed by: Clive A Smith Based on: Loosely based on the short story The Devil and Daniel Webster by Stephen Vincent Benét Notes: I don’t remember how I came to see this film. I know we didn’t own the vhs. Maybe taped off of late night tv? In any case, this little, mostly forgotten Canadian film is, in my opinion, the very best in the genre. Forget the much over-rated Heavy Metal, this adult cartoon is where it’s at. Awesome animation, kick ass soundtrack, and great story, this is a must-see for anyone who likes adult animation.
Number 21
Title:From Beyond Year: 1986 Plot: A group of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms. Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Ken Foree, Ted Sorel, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon Directed by: Stuart Gordon Based on: The short story From Beyond by HP Lovecraft Notes: I tend to love adaptations of Lovecraft’s works even when they aren’t that good. This one is great, with a wonderful lead performance by Jeffrey Combs (the go-to actor for Lovecraft adaptations). The practical effects are stunning and hold up well, even today.
Number 20
Title:Beetlejuice Year: 1988 Plot: The spirits of a deceased couple are harassed by an unbearable family that has moved into their home, and hire a malicious spirit to drive them out. Starring: Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, Jeffrey Jones, Glenn Shadix Directed by: Tim Burton Based on: An original screenplay written by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson Notes: Back when Tim Burton was still at the top of his game. So much fun, completely off the wall bonkers, and I love every second of it. It’s wickedly funny with awesome practical effects, it’s been one of my favourites since I was a kid.
Number 19
Title:Return to Oz Year: 1985 Plot: Dorothy Gale (who’s somehow much younger now), saved from a psychiatric experiment by a mysterious girl, is somehow called back to Oz when a vain witch and the Nome King destroy everything that makes the magical land beautiful. Starring: Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, Sean Barrett, Denise Bryer, Brian Henson, Lyle Conway, Justin Case, John Alexander, Deep Roy, Emma Ridley, Tansy the Dog Directed by: Walter Murch Based on: The books Ozma of Oz and The Land of Oz by L Frank Baum Notes: It’s not often a sequel is better than the first film, but this one definitely is. It’s crazy on so many levels, and shit-your-pants terrifying in others, they simply don’t make them like this anymore. What a shame.
Number 18
Title:Amadeus Year: 1984 Plot: The life, music, and death of musical prodigy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Starring: Tom Hulce, F Murray Abraham, Elizabeth Berridge, Roy Dotrice, Simon Callow, Christine Ebersole, Jeffrey Jones, Charles Kay Directed by: Milos Forman Based on: The play Amadeus written by Peter Shaffer, also based on a true story… more or less Notes: I knew going into it that it wasn’t historically accurate. And do I care? Not a lick. I know a biopic is supposed to tell a true story, and I’m sorry that people might think that this is the way things actually went down, but I’ll be damned if I don’t just love this film to pieces. Fart jokes and all.
Number 17
Title:Moonstruck Year: 1987 Plot: Loretta Castorini, a bookkeeper from Brooklyn, finds herself in a difficult situation when she falls for the brother of the man she has agreed to marry. Starring: Cher, Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Vincent Gardenia, Danny Aiello, John Mahoney Directed by: Norman Jewison Based on: An original screenplay written by John Patrick Shanley Notes: I absolutely love this film. Cher is wonderful (and disgustingly beautiful) as Loretta, and her chemistry with Nicolas Cage’s Ronnie is electric. This is one of my very favourite chick flicks.
Number 16
Title:The Neverending Story Year: 1984 Plot: Troubled Bastian “borrows” a book from a bookstore and dives into the world of Fantasia where a dark Nothing is destroying everything. The only one who can save the day is young warrior Atreyu. Starring: Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Alan Oppenheimer, Tami Stronach, Sydney Bromley, Patricia Hayes, Deep Roy, Tilo Prückner, Moses Gunn, Thomas Hill, Gerald McRaney, Alma the Horse Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen Based on: The book Die Unendliche Geschichte by Michael Ende Notes: This was one of my favourites as a kid, and it’s still now. I’m surprised it’s not higher on my list because I literally wore the vhs out, but that just goes to show how awesome 80s films were. Despite some of the acting being rather shaky (especially the Child-like Empress, yikes), this film is simply marvelous. Fantasia is beautiful, most of the practical effects are cool, and while it’s quite different from the book, the story is still amazing, even today. Noah Hathaway as Atreyu was my very first movie crush, and remained so until I passed the character in age, about 7 years later.
Number 15
Title:Ladyhawke Year: 1985 Plot: An evil Bishop curses a woman and her lover when she rejects him. With the help of a sly thief, they will travel back to the Bishop and try break the curse. Starring: Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Leo McKern, John Wood, Ken Hutchison, Giancarlo Prete, Alfred Molina Directed by: Richard Donner Based on: An original screenplay written by Edward Khmara, Michael de Guzman, Tom Mankiewicz, and David Peoples Notes: Such a beautiful film. Nauseatingly romantic, this film has a bit for everyone. Schmoop, laughter, action, and drama, this is simply a wonderful, wonderful film.
Number 14
Title: The Great Mouse Detective Year: 1986 Plot: Detective Basil of Baker Street investigates the kidnapping of a toy maker and uncovers its link to his archenemy, Professor Ratigan. Starring: Barrie Ingham, Vincent Price, Val Bettin, Susanne Pollatschek, Candy Candido, Alan Young, Diana Chesney Directed by: Ron Clements, Burny Mattinson, Dave Michener, John Musker Based on: The book series Basil of Baker Street by Eve Titus Notes: One of my very favourite Disney films, surpassed only by one, which is later in the list. I absolutely love this little mousey version of Sherlock Holmes, and Vincent Price (rip) as the villain? Of course he is. No one could have done it better.
Number 13
Title:A Nightmare on Elm Street Year: 1984 Plot: In the dreams of his victims, a spectral child murderer stalks the children of the members of the lynch mob that killed him. Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Johnny Depp, Amanda Wyss, Nick Corri, Charles Fleischer, John Saxon, Ronee Blakley Directed by: Wes Craven Based on: An original screenplay written by Wes Craven, although he was heavily inspired by real-life news reports of refugees dying in their sleep from extreme nightmares, often referred to as Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome. Notes: This was the very first horror movie I ever saw, which means I was just a wee thing (only 3 or 4 years old) when I partially saw it from where I was hiding while my cousins, who thought I was in bed, were watching. And it’s stuck with me ever since, still one of my favourites, even with the sometimes laughable acting and effects. When a movie is this good, lots of stuff can be over-looked!
Number 12
Title:Poltergeist Year: 1982 Plot: A young family are visited by ghosts in their home. At first the ghosts appear friendly, moving objects around the house to the amusement of everyone, then they turn nasty and start to terrorize the family before they kidnap the youngest daughter. Starring: Craig T Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Beatrice Straight, Heather O’Rourke, Dominique Dunne, Oliver Robins, Martin Casella, Zelda Rubinstein Directed by: Tobe Hooper Based on: An original screenplay written by Steven Spielberg, Michael Grais, and Mark Victor, although they were heavily inspired by the supposed true haunting of the Hermann family in Long Island, in 1958. Notes: An absolute classic of the genre, it’s still one of the very best haunted house films ever made, even 44 years later. Also, I hate clowns, even toy ones *shudder*
Number 11
Title: The Princess Bride Year: 1987 Plot: While home sick in bed, a young boy’s grandfather reads him a story called The Princess Bride, about a young woman, believing her true love to be dead, who settles with marrying a wicked prince. When her love turns out to be alive, he sets about rescuing her from the prince’s clutches. Starring: Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, André the Giant, Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Fred Savage, Peter Cook, Mel Smith, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane Directed by: Rob Reiner Based on: The book The Princess Bride by William Goldman Notes: This film is both schmoopy and full of adventures, perfect for kids and adults alike. And one more thing: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Number 10
Title:The Goonies Year: 1985 Plot: After finding out that his family will loose their home to an unscrupulous developer who’s buying up the neighbourhood to tear everything down and build a golf course, a teen and his friends make a pact to find a hidden treasure of legend in a local cave. Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Jeff Cohen, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, Ke Huy Quan, John Matuszak, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, Anne Ramsey Directed by: Richard Donner Based on: An original screenplay written by Chris Columbus, based on a story by Steven Spielberg Notes: I can’t count the number of times I watched this as a kid. It’s so much fun with lots to appeal to both kids and adults. Adventure, danger, traps, and even a little romance.
Number 9
Title:Near Dark Year: 1987 Plot: After being bit by a beautiful vampire, a young man is given an ultimatum by her family: make a kill within a week, or die. When he realizes he can’t kill, he and the girl run off, with her family in hot pursuit. Starring: Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Jenette Goldstein, Joshua John Miller, Tom Thomerson Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow Based on: An original screenplay written by Kathryn Bigelow and Eric Red Notes: The other vampire film that came out in 1987, this one is decidedly more adult, and was criminally overlooked. I saw this for the first time as a teenager, and it had everything a teenage girl could possibly want. Romance, eye candy, and lots and lots of blood. Oh yeah!
Number 8
Title:Willow Year: 1988 Plot: A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen. Starring: Warwick Davis, Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Jean Marsh, Patricia Hayes, Billy Barty, Kevin Pollak, Rick Overton, Pat Roach, Gavan O’Herlihy, David Steinberg, Phil Fondacaro Directed by: Ron Howard Based on: An original screenplay by Bob Dolman, based on a story by George Lucas Notes: Such a wonderful, beautiful story. Good acting and surprisingly good effects for its time, it still holds up very well today. Plus, Val Kilmer (rip) is smokin’ hot as Madmartigan, who was one of my very first adult crushes.
Number 7
Title:Aliens Year: 1986 Plot: Decades after surviving the Nostromo incident, Ellen Ripley is sent out to re-establish contact with a terraforming colony but finds herself battling the Alien Queen and her offspring. Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Carrie Henn, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser, Jenette Goldstein, William Hope, Al Matthews Directed by: James Cameron Based on: An original screenplay written by James Cameron, although he acknowledged inspiration from Robert A Heinlein’s novel Starship Troopers Notes: Simply the best space/alien movie ever, full stop. I saw this (probably way too young) on tv when I was about 8 or 9 and have loved it since then. Action packed and tense, with killer effects, this film rocks!
Number 6
Title:The Black Cauldron Year: 1985 Plot: A young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can. Starring: Grant Bardsley, Susan Sheridan, Freddie Jones, Nigel Hawthorne, John Byner, Arthur Malet, Phil Fondacaro, John Hurt Directed by: Ted Berman, Richard Rich Based on: The first two books in The Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander, titled The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron Notes: This is my favourite Disney movie, and probably their darkest. It didn’t do well upon release, so that put an end to “dark Disney”, which was a real shame for weirdo kids like me.
Number 5
Title:The Dark Crystal Year: 1982 Plot: On another planet in the distant past, a Gelfling embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of a magical crystal, and so restore order to his world. Starring: Stephen Garlick, Lisa Maxwell, Percy Edwards, Billie Whitelaw, Barry Dennen, Jerry Nelson, Joseph O’Conor Directed by: Jim Henson, Frank Oz Based on: An original screenplay written by David Odell, based on a story created by Jim Henson and Frank Oz Notes: So many of the films I loved as a child are like this one, “too weird and scary” for today’s wimpy children. I’m not sure what the people who made children’s movies were on in the 80s, but I want some. This film is both heartwarming and tense, with simply stunning puppetry and locations.
Number 4
Title:Fright Night Year: 1985 Plot: A teen becomes suspicious of his new neighbour when bodies of young women are found dumped in trash bags. He soon realizes the suave, handsome man is an evil vampire, and he tries to enlist the help of a tv vampire slayer to stop him. Starring: Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowall, Stephen Geoffreys, Jonathan Stark, Dorothy Fielding, Art Evans Directed by: Tom Holland Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Holland Notes: One of the original great horror-comedies, this film is fun, campy, and scary. The actors are perfect in their roles, especially Chris Sarandon as the evil yet seductive Jerry Dandridge. The remake, while nowhere near as good as this one, is still worth a gander.
Number 3
Title:Legend Year: 1985 Plot: A young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from both destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves. Starring: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Annabelle Lanyon, Alice Playten, Billy Barty, Cork Hubbert, Robert Picardo Directed by: Ridley Scott Based on: An original screenplay written by William Hjortsberg, although he was heavily inspired by classic fairy tales and Celtic art, particularly the book Faeries by Brian Froud and Alan Lee. Notes: I’m not sure if the creators of this film intended it to be a kids film or an adults, but I know I saw it as a kid (of course I did). This film, effects-wise, was so far ahead of its time that it would be impressive even if it came out today. And Tim Curry is deliciously evil as Darkness (although I heard that he hated the makeup process, those horns weighed a ton!)
Number 2
Title:Labyrinth Year: 1986 Plot: Fifteen-year-old Sarah accidentally wishes her baby half-brother, Toby, away to the Goblin King Jareth, who will keep him if Sarah does not complete his Labyrinth in thirteen hours. Starring: Jennifer Connelly, David Bowie, Brian Henson, Ron Mueck, Dave Goelz, David Shaughnessy, Michael Hordern, Denise Bryer, David Healy, Robert Beatty, Toby Froud Directed by: Jim Henson Based on: An original screenplay written by Terry Jones, based on a story by Jim Henson and Brian Froud, although they acknowledged they were heavily inspired by Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak Notes: If I had to absolutely choose a favourite fantasy film of all time, this would be it. I saw it at 5 years old, when it came out, and I’ve seen it well over 100 times. I learned all the words, songs and talked, in a very short time, and I still know most of them now. It’s an absolutely perfect piece of film. And David Bowie (rip) is so beautiful in this, I can’t help but swoon every time. They just don’t make them like this anymore. What a pity…
Number 1
Title:The Lost Boys Year: 1987 Plot: When brothers Sam and Michael move to a new town after their parents’ divorce, they quickly realize that the town is over-run by vampires. Sam gets help from self-appointed vampire slayers, but for Michael it may be too late… Starring: Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Keifer Sutherland, Jami Gertz, Corey Feldman, Dianne Wiest, Barnard Hughes, Edward Herrmann, Jamison Newlander, Alex Winter, Billy Wirth, Brooke McCarter, Chance Michael Corbitt, Folsom the Dog, Cody the Dog Directed by: Joel Schumacher Based on: An original screenplay written by Janice Fischer and James Jeremias Notes: It was the first vampire movie I ever saw, and was the beginning of a life-long love affair with all things that go bump in the night. I was 6 when this came out, and my mom bought it on vhs and hid it from me, saying it was “too scary”. By the time she’d caught me with it, I’d already watched it about 20 times. Not too scary for this weirdo!
And there it is, 30 of the best films from the 80s. I had a hell of time choosing between Labyrinth and The Lost Boys as my number 1, I think I love them both equally. And I do think the ranking is pretty fluid here. A lot of these can be interchangeable, depending on my mood.
Shout-outs go to the following films for almost making the list:
Watchers Re-animator Cellar Dweller Just One of the Guys Pretty in Pink The Breakfast Club Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Twice Upon a Time Stand By Me Firestarter
Some of these were so close to making the list that it hurt to leave them off, but adding them would just make an already long list even longer, so here they are.
The Night House (2020) Rebecca Hall, Sarah Goldberg, Vondie Curtis-Hall, Evan Jonigkeit, Stacy Martin Directed by: David Bruckner
This movie has been on my Disney+ watchlist since it arrived on the platform. I’ve been really wanting to see it but never seemed to get around to it. I finally did and, well, I’m not sure how I feel about it.
A recently widowed woman comes to think her house is haunted, but is it really her husband?
I didn’t dislike the movie, let’s get that out of the way. I liked it, I think. It was definitely more of a slow burn, but not in a bad way, I was never bored. But I don’t know, there was just something that felt a little off. I think it might have a lot to do with Rebecca Hall’s performance. While not bad, the character just seemed.. off? I’m not sure if that was intentional, or if it’s just something that I imagined, but I didn’t care a whole lot about her because of it.
SPOILERS INCOMING
Although, to be fair, I don’t know how I would react if first, my husband commits suicide seemingly out of the blue and second, has some pretty awful secrets. So maybe she’s not acting weird at all. I did enjoy the end. I’ve seen some others say that it was lacking, but I thought it fit the tone of the rest of the film. There’s a nice sense of dread that permeates the entire film, which is nice. Also, how cute is Evan Jonigkeit as the husband? My goodness. He’s got odd features, but they work.
So, do I recommend it? I do, if slow burn ghost stories are your bag. It gets a pretty good 7.5/10 from me.
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